So I found these photos last spring when I was visiting my dad. My grandmother is the girl at the very front of the group photo. I think from that you can figure out who she is in the others. Anyway I see these and I keep wondering what happened to that girl that she became the cold, controlling woman I knew. One who cut herself off from all her family except her most immediate family and did what ever she could to keep her parents, husband, and sons from spending time with them as well.
Growing up I saw italian families on tv and until I was a teen I thought that was exaggeration. Everyone getting together on weekends, aunts and uncles chatting, kids running around lots of food and talking, always talking. becuase my italian family was nothing like that. The only family I ever saw were my great grandparents, the sweetest most loving people I've known, my grandparents and my uncles. Except for occasionally my grandfather would sneak us out while my grandmother was at work and take us over to his brother's house. When ever we were there it was like the families I saw on tv.
Something happened in the early fifties. Not sure what, my dad only remembers them moving from Genesee street. He doesn't have a whole lot of emotional depth, my dad, so it didn't really bother him that he was moving away from his cousins and friends, in some cases both. My uncle Tony might know he's only a year or two younger than my dad but things are kind of strained between the brothers, so I'm not real sure he'd talk to me about it if I asked. Something happend that she basically stopped wanting to be Italian. It's kind of surprising since they were in Utica, NY. If anything being Italian even a woman, would have been a benefit in getting promotions at work.
So the puzzle just sits there in my head. I have no names of people to contact to find more of my family's past, most of those who were living when it happened are dead. There were also pictures of her as a very young child in portraits with my great grandparents you can see the how much she was loved even in those stiff photos. It just makes me wonder even more how she became what she was. Like I never knew how much she loved baseball until she was in an assited living apartment because the alzhiemers was starting to get bad. She still recognized us at that point but she always drifted back. She kept talking about what a wonderful time she had visiting Cooperstown and the baseball hall of fame. We never saw that side of her as kids. Just the woman who was sweeping up the crumbs under the table even as we ate. Or she would clean up the toys we'd been playing with before dinner even though my mom had told us we could leave them and go back and play after dinner was over. The woman who had screaming matches with her parents in their apartment upstairs, I assume because they went and visited relatives and friends on the other side of town. Because right after my great grandfather would leave the house and either work in his garden or go for a walk.
Even after his funeral, she didn't join her mother, aunts and cousins at the wake being held at her uncle's house. No she took her family home then took her sons stawberry picking, only her sons, not their wives, not her grandchildren. My mom always felt that family was important, she'd missed her own sister's wedding to be at the funeral. Even after my parents divorced, she brought us up to visit our grandparents, because my father couldn't be bothered. I know that day was very confusing for her becuase no matter how much she fought and argued with her brothers and sisters, they'd always work things out, eventually. Ah well, maybe I should look more carefully at the boxes of stuff my father has of hers, maybe I can find out more that way.
Onto other things, can I say how nice it is to be in a real bra again. Nursing bras aren't the best for support. I've been really lucky both of my kids self weaned. Alex at 9 1/2 months and Quin just as I was considering weaning him. About a week before his birthday he stopped nursing on the right side, then the last time he nursed from the left was the day of his birthday party. It's kind of nice to have my body to myself again. Who knows how long it'll last since we've been trying since late June. I'm wondering if even though my cycle came back, that BFing was still working as birth control. So we're going to keep trying until my birthday that is. I just don't want to deal with pregnancy after 40. I mean it's different if I get pregnant before than and deliever after 40, ahh I don't know guess it's just a silly rule I have in my head. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't I have two sweet boys.
So our kitchen plans have gone through some revisions. Mostly because Ken wanted a 36" range. Then we talked and threw ideas around and decided on a 36"
Jenn-Air cooktop and a 30" oven.
The cook top will be about where our range is now but the oven will move over to the return we're putting in. We got our Quote for the Kraftmaid cabinets we wanted. It was about 1500 more than I guessed, so not far off.
I can't remember if we pick this style
Or this
The quartz countertops Lowe's offers were going to be about 3 grand. I remember when Ken's sister renoated her kitchen she actually went to a place in PA and picked her slab directly because it got her a better price. I'm going to ask where she got her's but I've been researching. Most of the local warehouses do have a whole lot of choice, then I came across this site and it looks like they do work all along the mid atlantic. Marble.com The choices and colors they have is amazing, we'll know for sure in January if it'll be a better price. Mostly because we're going to wait until the cabinets are being installed before going for an estimate. They usually install within a week. Guess we'll be making a trip to South Plainfield NJ. They have three locations but that is actually the closest one to us.
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