Saturday, February 28, 2009

A few things happened in the week following the munchkin's diagnosis that made it easier to come to terms. The first happened at work. A former coworker stopped in and was chatting with all the people he remembered who still worked there. He asked about the boys. I mentioned how I go from being elated that Monkey Boy starts school full time in September to near tears at the same thought. And then I mentioned how we were told the munchkin had autism. Brad started asking some very insightful questions. Then he explained his brother has autism. Growing up together he didn't really pay attention to all that was going on, they're very close in age (year and a half, not sure who is older) So his brother is in his mid to late 20's and has graduated college. And some of the things like the hand posturing when excited are still there but to a much smaller extent. Family and friends don't really think about because to them that is just how he is.

The second came from the service co-ordinator with the school district. She mentioned how she feels Q is on the verge of talking and his cognition is very high. To the point he can match written words to pictures of the same items. She wanted permission to start early reading exercises with him. She also said that the three year old program for children with developmental delay will be good for him. Though she didn't feel the autism program the school distric runs would be a good fit, the children in that program tend to have a lot of behavioral issues in addition to the learning, communication issues. She agreed with me that Q's behavioral problems are entirely age appropriate. She laughed when I mentioned that Q's tantrums aren't nearly as bad as the ones A can throw. (She's met A).

I can usually head off most of his tantrums, the only ones that are hard are the ones caused by Monkey Boy. It doesn't seem to sink in, no matter how many times I explain it, or how many different ways I explain it. The Munchkin plays with things for five maybe ten minutes max. Just let him play he'll put it down and move on to something else. Monkey Boy still rips toys out of his hands. Most the time Munchkin shrugs it off and moves on to something else. Sometimes he protests by pushing MonkeyBoy, then moving on. But certain things will set him into full tantrum. He has a set of Nick Jr books he absolutely loves. He looks through them or brings them to me to read. At the end he closes them and puts them back, you can't inturrupt the routine or you get munchkin on the ground crying, kicking and flailing. It doesn't matter if Monkey Boy was on the otherside of the room playing with something else he will come over and take whatever his brother has in his hands, incuding these books. :sigh:

Oh and the other joy of having boys. Monkey Boy told me the other day as we were coming home from preschool, that he was going to have lots of surprises for me for my birthday. "Girl ones" He sits behind me in the car so with all the car noises I don't always hear everything. I hear this "that was one of your surprises" "What was?" "I burped, it's one of your surprises" "Gee thanks, honey." "Oh that was a boy one."

Saturday, February 07, 2009

I guess I should give up and just say I'm and occasional poster. It's not that I don't have stories to tell or things to say. It's just at the end ofthe day I'm so burnt out I'd rather just goof off. 4 days a week I'm running until mid afternoon. Sundays I can take it slow but I have to work in the evening. Saturday has been birthday party day whether or not Ken has a wedding to shoot. So Friday is my one day to chill, which I can only kind of do with two kids in the house. Not getting dressed until noon on Friday is one of my small pleasures. I can hop online for 10-15 minute stints during the day but that's not enough time to do anything but read mail and catch up on other people's lives. And when monkey boy is in the house I can't concentrate on much of anything, he knows two volumes loud and screaming. Boy I miss nap times. Then again I cry everytime I think about him starting Kindergarten in the fall.

Anyway what got me to finally post is the munchkin. I took him to Kennedy Kreiger's CARD(Center for Autism and Related Disorders) for follow up testing. Last October we were given a diagnosis of PDD NOS. But the doctor felt he was still a bit young to pin down an exact diagnosis. Friday we were told Autism. I know this seems like a worse diagnosis and even though I was kind of expecting it I was still crying. The doctor was able to put things in perspective for me. She said there is a lot of argument in the field about diagnosis and criteria for the various spectrum disorders. So until things are changed she goes by the criteria listed in the DSM IV. There is specific criteria for both Autism Disorder and Asperger's Syndrome, if a child doesn't fit either one they are given a diagnosis of PDD NOS, kind of a catch all. Within each disorder there is a scale of how severe it is. Any where from severely mental retarded, and needing full time care, to very bright and fully functional. She did say based on the progess he's made, the program we have is a good one. If we find we need more help or different help to let her know and she can help us contact the right people.

This whole thing makes me worry so much for my sweet boy. I know he's bright but I also know he doesn't learn things the way school districts like to box kids into. I'm not worried so much about elementary school, it's when he gets older, middle and high school. Heh I worry about both of them getting to that age. I fear monkey boy won't be challenged enough, in the middle years. I know our high schools have very good advanced and AP classes, it's making sure he gets there.

Well while I was pondering all this I realized what my complaint of lack of creativity the last year really was. My output in 2008 was only slightly down from 2007. What I missed was the easy flow I had from shortly after the munchkin was born until early 2008. It was about this time last year that I started thinking something was wrong. He had his 15 month appointment and was barely walking on his own, only had three words, and had lots of trouble with fine motor skills, didn't turn when his name was called. Our pediatrician suggested hearing testing and if things didn't significantly change he'd suggest additional testing. So basically my head has been in a whole nuther space the last year. I guess knowing for sure is a starting point, and we can figure out where we need to go along the way. But it may be a while before my flow comes back.