So much spinning around in my head. School starts this week. So my monkey boy starts Kindergarten. Tomorrow is a gradual entrance day, so we go part of the day. (yes me too). Then Friday is his first full day, so the whole family will be there to watch him get on the bus because it’s Ken’s Friday off. Not sure how I feel about this full day Kindergarten. Actually this whole every child left behind program still gets on my nerves, even 8 years later. They put so much pressure on kids so young. When do they get to be kids? They need to know the stuff we learned in first grade before they even get into Kindergarten. The school year gets longer and longer, I mean if you’re going to go to full year schooling then do it already. Just break up the year so that there are three, 1 month breaks between sessions. I think that’s reasonable. They keep making the year longer so you know what I have no trouble taking my kids out of school to do things I think are important for family or culture. I know my mom worked around the various in-service days and breaks to do thinks like take us to DC to visit the museums, and on family trips to places we’d never been. I feel it made me a more rounded student. I graduated in the top 10% of my class. Heh, by my last semester I had 3 study halls because I’d taken all my required classes and then some, so I usually had no homework to take home because it was done in school. I spent a lot of time wandering the halls camera in hand. (It’s good to be on the yearbook committee/staff)
Of course that’s all beside the point. I know my husband will be laughing at my Friday as I start crying because my big (little) boy gets on the bus. Though I think October will be even worse because then the munchkin will be doing the same thing 3 afternoons a week. Hopefully I’ll be able to be productive in those few hours alone in the house. Maybe I’ll even get to the gym twice a week. Or maybe I’ll paint the spare room so we can move the boys in there before November. Man, getting back into a school year schedule is hard. We’ll actually have to go up to visit my mom at Thanksgiving instead of a week or two earlier, like we have been the last five years. I guess that’s fair, Thanksgiving with my mom, Christmas with Ken’s family.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday while we were at our final playgroup picnic of the summer. I had two different people asking me how much I charged for my photography services. The little girl I took newborn pictures of back in Feb is going to be Christened and her mom wants pictures of her in her gown. Another friend was asking for someone else, her friend had just spent a boatload at Picture People for portrait of her twins and older daughter. I made sure Dawn knew to tell her that my photos weren’t going to be standard portrait style photos, they’d be closer to a lifestyle portrait. She made be asking for a digital page as well. Going to have to figure out pricing for that now since I’ll have to cover the cost of a professional use license on any of my scrapbooking kits I use.
Hmmm what else, oh yeah I saw a commercial while at my mom’s that really pissed me off. The whole immunization thing just pushes my buttons now. The commercial was for an organization that wants to make all kids get all their immunizations by age two. From all the reading and research I’ve done my feeling is age two is when we should just be starting to give our kids immunization and most certainly they shouldn’t be getting 6 different vaccines at one time. I don’t know how the medical community can say that bombarding our babies with that many things at once is going to be good for them. Ok I’m going to stop because I just make myself mad all over again. I’ll just say that I’m not against vaccines at all, they are important, it’s the stupid schedule they have set up that really grinds my gears.
On to better things Quin has become so much more responsive this summer. The only thing I wish I could change would be the speed with which his brain rewires itself. I can see how frustrated he gets when trying to vocalize. He really has to work hard to consciously get even simple sounds like ahahah, eeee, oooo , mamama, bababa, brbrbrbr out when he wants to. He makes all of those sounds unconsciously when he is playing but when he’s trying during speech classes, I can see the frustration in his face. He watches everything so closely now. When ever we play Here Come the ABC’s by They Might be Giants, he watches my mouth as I sing and I can see him trying to form the same mouth shapes. So it’s a start. His imitation skills overall are becoming much better. He does the motions now for several song games, and I’ve even seen him trying to copy Alex and his silly duck walk. Alex has developed a fascination with shaking his butt at people (mostly me and Ken) when he’s dancing around. I do have to gate Quin into his room now at night. Opening the door is now fully mastered, he’ll spend a good 15 minutes opening and closing his door once I’ve tucked him in for the night.
It’s funny while we were at my mom’s Quin tried a couple time so throw a temper tantrum. My mom just shook her head as I tried to keep from laughing. He is no where near the master of the tantrum that his brother is. I swear sometimes I was given Alex first so that I would think dealing with Quin’s Autism was easy. Okay that’s all I can think of at the moment. Other than hoping next year’s Adobe crop doesn’t fall the same weekend as Blogher. I’m hoping after the big consignment sale next month, I’m selling all the baby gear, I’ll have enough to pay for Blogher, and Christmas presents. A weekend up in NYC would be a nice treat for me.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
here's the long one
Summer just seems to be speeding by. I know the first two weeks of June were crazy with activities and getting ready for Monkey Boy’s preschool graduation. The munchkin has class through the first week in August, so except for vacations and short trips we’re still keeping a schedule instead of freeforming our summer. He starts back up end of Aug when school starts for the district. He’ll stay with infants and toddlers until his birthday then moves to the early intervention program. So this fall instead of watching just my oldest get on the bus to go to school, I have to deal with watching my baby do the same thing three afternoons a week. Bleh, I tear up just thinking about it. I know it’s best for him but it’s so hard. And I know it’s good for me too. I mean I can safely say my baby fever is completely gone, mostly because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Actual clumps of time to use as I wish. I’ve started to clean all the baby stuff and get it ready for consignment. The stuff like the changing table, that is damaged or was a hand-me-down to us will go to freecycle. Monkey Boy has decided he wishes to share a room with his little brother. So we’re going to repaint the guest room (which is the largest bedroom beside the mater bedroom) and move both boys in. I’ll take Monkey Boy’s room for my office and we’ll make the Munchkin’s room the new guest room. This also frees up space in the family room. Maybe we’ll set up a work/activity space there for the boys.
Let’s see we spent a week in Tenn at my dad’s lake house. I think this wet spring they (we all had) caused mold to grow in their house because all three males in my family were stuffed up while we were there and fine once we got on the road home. Ken was the worst, he developed a sinus infection. We also spent a few days at Rehobeth Beach while my mom was down last week. The boys loved the giant sand box, not so in love with the ocean itself yet. I’ll come I hope. I remember growing up the week we spent in Ocean City every summer was the highlight. I think my mom and aunts had to make us, my sister, cousins and I, come out of the water every day at 4 pm. We’d be in there from the time we hit the beach after breakfast until it was time to go up and shower and change for dinner, with a brief break for lunch.
We were supposed to have one more trip this summer. This one was suppose to be for Disney. But Ken has a business trip that overlaps the end of our Orlando trip. So we’ve post poned until April next year. Well the other problem was the vacation club resort thing we were taking this trip on changed their income requirements for the Orlando resort. So our choice at this point is to flush two hundred down the drain or take a trip to Myrtle Beach. We’ll probably end up losing the money because I think our Deep Creek Lake family reunion is next summer. The kids won’t be out of school until mid June and we go to my dad’s for a week end of June/ early July. Unless its’ a short trip I just feel three week long trips a summer is a bit much. Anyway with the Disney trip postponed I’ll take the boys up to see my mom while Ken is on his business trip. That’s always good for fall clothes shopping anyway.
The munchkin is just amazing me with his gains in comprehension and motor skill development. He now actually participates in several song games like Happy and You Know it with out prompting for any of the actions. I can hear him humming/singing along too even if he has no words he’s carrying a tune. He’s starting to do more imaginative play with the little people farm animals. When Monkey Boy gets the art supplies out he joins us and at least tries for 5-10 minutes. I knew this was coming just didn’t expect it so soon after the move to the toddler bed but he figured out how to turn the door handle. The other morning I could tell he wasn’t feeling well but I couldn’t really figure out what hurt. While we were up in his room I had asked him what hurt and touched his forehead and nose. No real reaction except to turn his head away. We go down stairs and he was doing his ahahahah whine/cry he uses when he isn’t feeling well. Then he took my hand put it on his ear, then put it on his head and finally put it on the side of his neck. He was telling me where is hurt. With his new awareness he has become very clingy with me. I sometimes can’t even leave the room with out him either crying or following me. I mean it’s good, it’s just something I expected to deal with 18 months ago or so. His teacher said once we come back end of August until October when he starts early intervention we’ll start doing some separation exercises in class. I’ll drop him off and go get coffee or visit the library instead of staying and participating like I do right now.
Monkey Boy has been putting much more effort in trying to be center of attention. I guess he’s really noticing the concentration of other people working with the Munchkin. I try and spend time doing things alone with both boys but I find A. really interferes when I’m trying to work with Q, so Q is getting short changed by both me and Ken. It’s actually been an issue the one day a week he joins us at the Munchkin’s class. He doesn’t do this when he’s at school. His teachers have said he is polite and helpful, if a little sensitive. But he never acts out when he doesn’t get his way. When he’s with us at Q’s class that is exactly what he does and it is very disruptive. It’s hard enough for some of the moms, as their kids already have behavior issues with out my normally helpful older son having a temper tantrum because he didn’t get to pick a song at circle time. We have talked to him about this several time. Even the teachers at the program have talked to him. Well just two more weeks. He’ll start full day Kindergarten before Q’s class starts back up.
We’re now in the process of determining if Q has an allergy to corn or if it’s something more along the lines of celiac disease, with the problem being corn instead of gluten. Celiac does run in my family. My mom and at least one of my aunts has it. So to me it’s not outside the realm of possibility that something similar is possible with corn. I already make an effort to mostly shop only the edges of the grocery store. It amazes me beyond belief how many things have high fructose corn syrup in them. I don’t always have time to make my own snack foods. Thank goodness for goldfish. But boy does reading labels slow shopping down.
Ken’s computer has finally died after six years. And after years of always getting custom built systems he’s decided to just customize either and HP or a Dell. Just trying options to see which will get us the better deal. So I’ve had that to deal with along with the full page list I was given by Monkey Boy’s school of supplies he needs for the first day of school.
Let’s see we spent a week in Tenn at my dad’s lake house. I think this wet spring they (we all had) caused mold to grow in their house because all three males in my family were stuffed up while we were there and fine once we got on the road home. Ken was the worst, he developed a sinus infection. We also spent a few days at Rehobeth Beach while my mom was down last week. The boys loved the giant sand box, not so in love with the ocean itself yet. I’ll come I hope. I remember growing up the week we spent in Ocean City every summer was the highlight. I think my mom and aunts had to make us, my sister, cousins and I, come out of the water every day at 4 pm. We’d be in there from the time we hit the beach after breakfast until it was time to go up and shower and change for dinner, with a brief break for lunch.
We were supposed to have one more trip this summer. This one was suppose to be for Disney. But Ken has a business trip that overlaps the end of our Orlando trip. So we’ve post poned until April next year. Well the other problem was the vacation club resort thing we were taking this trip on changed their income requirements for the Orlando resort. So our choice at this point is to flush two hundred down the drain or take a trip to Myrtle Beach. We’ll probably end up losing the money because I think our Deep Creek Lake family reunion is next summer. The kids won’t be out of school until mid June and we go to my dad’s for a week end of June/ early July. Unless its’ a short trip I just feel three week long trips a summer is a bit much. Anyway with the Disney trip postponed I’ll take the boys up to see my mom while Ken is on his business trip. That’s always good for fall clothes shopping anyway.
The munchkin is just amazing me with his gains in comprehension and motor skill development. He now actually participates in several song games like Happy and You Know it with out prompting for any of the actions. I can hear him humming/singing along too even if he has no words he’s carrying a tune. He’s starting to do more imaginative play with the little people farm animals. When Monkey Boy gets the art supplies out he joins us and at least tries for 5-10 minutes. I knew this was coming just didn’t expect it so soon after the move to the toddler bed but he figured out how to turn the door handle. The other morning I could tell he wasn’t feeling well but I couldn’t really figure out what hurt. While we were up in his room I had asked him what hurt and touched his forehead and nose. No real reaction except to turn his head away. We go down stairs and he was doing his ahahahah whine/cry he uses when he isn’t feeling well. Then he took my hand put it on his ear, then put it on his head and finally put it on the side of his neck. He was telling me where is hurt. With his new awareness he has become very clingy with me. I sometimes can’t even leave the room with out him either crying or following me. I mean it’s good, it’s just something I expected to deal with 18 months ago or so. His teacher said once we come back end of August until October when he starts early intervention we’ll start doing some separation exercises in class. I’ll drop him off and go get coffee or visit the library instead of staying and participating like I do right now.
Monkey Boy has been putting much more effort in trying to be center of attention. I guess he’s really noticing the concentration of other people working with the Munchkin. I try and spend time doing things alone with both boys but I find A. really interferes when I’m trying to work with Q, so Q is getting short changed by both me and Ken. It’s actually been an issue the one day a week he joins us at the Munchkin’s class. He doesn’t do this when he’s at school. His teachers have said he is polite and helpful, if a little sensitive. But he never acts out when he doesn’t get his way. When he’s with us at Q’s class that is exactly what he does and it is very disruptive. It’s hard enough for some of the moms, as their kids already have behavior issues with out my normally helpful older son having a temper tantrum because he didn’t get to pick a song at circle time. We have talked to him about this several time. Even the teachers at the program have talked to him. Well just two more weeks. He’ll start full day Kindergarten before Q’s class starts back up.
We’re now in the process of determining if Q has an allergy to corn or if it’s something more along the lines of celiac disease, with the problem being corn instead of gluten. Celiac does run in my family. My mom and at least one of my aunts has it. So to me it’s not outside the realm of possibility that something similar is possible with corn. I already make an effort to mostly shop only the edges of the grocery store. It amazes me beyond belief how many things have high fructose corn syrup in them. I don’t always have time to make my own snack foods. Thank goodness for goldfish. But boy does reading labels slow shopping down.
Ken’s computer has finally died after six years. And after years of always getting custom built systems he’s decided to just customize either and HP or a Dell. Just trying options to see which will get us the better deal. So I’ve had that to deal with along with the full page list I was given by Monkey Boy’s school of supplies he needs for the first day of school.
back post then a long one
I know it’s been forever since I posted in here. First up I’m going to post something I wrote a couple months ago. I incorporated a most of it in a page I did last month.
5/30/09
Just doing a huge brain dump as Dianne calls them. So not sure how much sense any of his will make. Maybe if I get it out I can figure out how much I want to post on my much negelected blog.
It dawned on me the other day I am /have been, in mourning. In mourning for my beautiful baby boy. Knowing something was not quite right but trying so hard not to compare him to his rambunctious, talkative, imaginative older brother. Getting help for his developmental delays and then finding a program that worked so well for him. First the testing last fall and hearing PDD NOS, I know it was a starting point and had to convince my husband that yes this is the right track. He’s not just laid back and letting his brother do the talking. Then in February the follow up testing and the confirmation it was autism. From there I went into research mode, everything from what caused it to seeing what therapies were out there. Seeing if what we’re doing is enough, if we need to do more or add alternatives. Find what schools are out there and get recommendations. Mostly I see the huge progress he’s made since September. He laughs now, spontaneously, in the last week alone I’ve seen him do things he’s never done before, like Clap with out prompting, and make that fake cheesy smile when he sees me with the camera. You know the one, every kid does it until age 7 or 8. He’ll tackle me when I sit on the floor and get upset if I don’t kiss his hands before lights out at bed time. I can brush his teeth without protest, he holds my hand when we walk now, and can zip and unzip his jacket on his own. I can see him making connections. When we show him flash cards he can pick the one we describe with out saying the actual word. Like, “What do you wear on your head?” Instead of just saying hat. It's funny how much of this you take for granted that your child will do all these things and seeing him not being able to do them is heart wrenching.
Its things like this that make you realize how much you love your kids but how differently too. From day one my love for Q. has been fierce. I wanted to hold him tight and never let go. Monkey Boy I want to see fly, to see him set his imagination free and just be amazing. I want to push him and help him expand his horizons, to question and learn (no matter how much it drives me crazy some days) I want to see the mnchkin grow too but he always felt more grounded to me, gentler in some ways. A. is always dramatic and sometimes explosive, very changeable, but very fixated at the same time. He sees things one way based on how it was presented to him the first time, and doesn’t easily let that go. I feel like a mother bear sometimes with Q, I always have I want to protect him, keep him safe. I guess the mourning is a way of coming to terms with what I feel is my failure to do just that.
There was a meeting this week for the munchkin’s IEP. On his third birthday this fall he moves from the infants and toddlers program to the early intervention program in the school district. I wish they did something like this for all kids. I think somewhere down the road A will need one too. I worry that when he hits that awkward middle school age he’ll lose interest and get bored if he’s not given strong goals. See Q is taken care of, but I want to see Monkey Boy meet his potential as well.
Of course all the reading is starting to make me very mad. Especially with the medical establishment and their one size fits all attitude towards so many things. I’ve had some random conversations that have clarified some of the things rolling around in my head. In essence we’re all just ticking time bombs, genetically. We all have predispositions and the wrong environmental trigger can set it off. I saw a FAQ posted on the wall, in the exam room at our pediatrician’s office the other day. I had taken my older son in because of the fever he was running. It was about immunizations, one of the questions was Will immunizations overwhelm my child’s system. The explanation took most of the page but essentially it said no. I was so annoyed reading that because it is so wrong, so much apart of the one size fits all. Yes, immunizations can overwhelm a child’s system. I’m not saying I wouldn’t immunize my children if I could do it all again but I would certainly space everything out more and I would not use the combo shots. Hell, my kids had more shots in their first 9 months that I had in my first twelve years. And I’m of course mad that I ignored the whole immunization debate when I was pregnant the first time. I would have known that Hep B is unnecessary for an infant, in this country, unless there are other factors mostly dealing with the mother. I think what I’m pissed most about is that the states require all these shots by the time they are five. Why can’t they be spaced out even more, because you think people won’t get it done, that’s bull. I keep thinking if I had even considered family histories and thought about what was in the genetic soup that made my boys I would have known better than to just follow along. That’s my bad habit of taking the path of least resistance. I’ve started to hear things like the chicken pox vaccine may not work so well and that a booster is needed. I keep thinking why bother, as miserable as it was I’d almost rather my kids actually got chicken pox. Now I wouldn’t want them to get measles or mumps, I know I was glad I never had them but I question the safety of the MMR vaccine and would have preferred individual shots for those. I don’t know if it’s the metals they use in the vaccines or the combinations and quantity that overwhelmed his system and triggered Q. But I think the medical establishment really needs to start listening to parents and stop going off on wild goose chases in terms of research. To actually test vaccines thoroughly before having us inject them into our children. As my husband says in some ways they’re trying to play god and cure everything with out looking at the long term effects, with out knowing how our bodies work and react. I’ve been reading about the whole controversy with Dr Wakefield and the studies he did in the 90’s that first brought the MMR vaccine into question. They accuse him of saying children shouldn’t be vaccinated, when what he said was more studies needed to be made and in the meantime the MMR should not be used, but the individual vaccines for measles, mumps and rubella , that had been around for much longer should be. That there was a possible correlation between it and autism spectrum disorders but a much more extensive study was needed.
I’m mad at how narrow minded some doctors are about some of the alternative therapies. If a change in diet helps eliminate some of the behavioral problems, that then allows the more conventional OT and Speech Therapies work better, why not tell parents about them. I mean if a child is miserable because gas and intestinal problems, how are they to concentrate. If they aren’t getting all the nutrients they need because they’re bodies can’t process certain foods, how can they pay attention. One of the other moms, who has a son the in same program as the Munchkin, was doing her own research. She had started looking into getting a DAN doctor for her son. She’d asked for input from the doctor that had tested her son at Kennedy Krieger. The reply she got was so scathing about any alternative therapies, she started crying and questioning her decisions. All she wants is to help her son, just like I do, but the medical establishment sure doesn’t make it easy. Where as the therapists who have been working with our children were so much more supportive. They have seen the difference in behavior just changing to a GFCF diet can make. How much more receptive to therapies a child can be. And no it doesn’t work for every child, why should it we’re all different. Most of the websites I’ve looked at say try it for 3 months if you see a difference then you’ve eliminated one road block, if it doesn’t work at least you’re looking.
I get mad at myself too thinking about all the toxic things in just my home most especially cleaners, that I didn’t eliminate until Q was almost 8 months old. How I thought that recycling and not using processed food was enough for helping the environment, not really thinking about doing more. In the back of my mind I knew less toxins on this earth was better, healthier for my kids but again following the path of least resistance.
As you can see I’m all over the place. Guess its part of the process, I only wish it hadn’t affected my creativity. It’s not that I don’t have any ideas; it’s that I no longer seem to have the motivation to actually create them. I think that must be part of the process too. I’m sure one day the fountain will open up once more.
5/30/09
Just doing a huge brain dump as Dianne calls them. So not sure how much sense any of his will make. Maybe if I get it out I can figure out how much I want to post on my much negelected blog.
It dawned on me the other day I am /have been, in mourning. In mourning for my beautiful baby boy. Knowing something was not quite right but trying so hard not to compare him to his rambunctious, talkative, imaginative older brother. Getting help for his developmental delays and then finding a program that worked so well for him. First the testing last fall and hearing PDD NOS, I know it was a starting point and had to convince my husband that yes this is the right track. He’s not just laid back and letting his brother do the talking. Then in February the follow up testing and the confirmation it was autism. From there I went into research mode, everything from what caused it to seeing what therapies were out there. Seeing if what we’re doing is enough, if we need to do more or add alternatives. Find what schools are out there and get recommendations. Mostly I see the huge progress he’s made since September. He laughs now, spontaneously, in the last week alone I’ve seen him do things he’s never done before, like Clap with out prompting, and make that fake cheesy smile when he sees me with the camera. You know the one, every kid does it until age 7 or 8. He’ll tackle me when I sit on the floor and get upset if I don’t kiss his hands before lights out at bed time. I can brush his teeth without protest, he holds my hand when we walk now, and can zip and unzip his jacket on his own. I can see him making connections. When we show him flash cards he can pick the one we describe with out saying the actual word. Like, “What do you wear on your head?” Instead of just saying hat. It's funny how much of this you take for granted that your child will do all these things and seeing him not being able to do them is heart wrenching.
Its things like this that make you realize how much you love your kids but how differently too. From day one my love for Q. has been fierce. I wanted to hold him tight and never let go. Monkey Boy I want to see fly, to see him set his imagination free and just be amazing. I want to push him and help him expand his horizons, to question and learn (no matter how much it drives me crazy some days) I want to see the mnchkin grow too but he always felt more grounded to me, gentler in some ways. A. is always dramatic and sometimes explosive, very changeable, but very fixated at the same time. He sees things one way based on how it was presented to him the first time, and doesn’t easily let that go. I feel like a mother bear sometimes with Q, I always have I want to protect him, keep him safe. I guess the mourning is a way of coming to terms with what I feel is my failure to do just that.
There was a meeting this week for the munchkin’s IEP. On his third birthday this fall he moves from the infants and toddlers program to the early intervention program in the school district. I wish they did something like this for all kids. I think somewhere down the road A will need one too. I worry that when he hits that awkward middle school age he’ll lose interest and get bored if he’s not given strong goals. See Q is taken care of, but I want to see Monkey Boy meet his potential as well.
Of course all the reading is starting to make me very mad. Especially with the medical establishment and their one size fits all attitude towards so many things. I’ve had some random conversations that have clarified some of the things rolling around in my head. In essence we’re all just ticking time bombs, genetically. We all have predispositions and the wrong environmental trigger can set it off. I saw a FAQ posted on the wall, in the exam room at our pediatrician’s office the other day. I had taken my older son in because of the fever he was running. It was about immunizations, one of the questions was Will immunizations overwhelm my child’s system. The explanation took most of the page but essentially it said no. I was so annoyed reading that because it is so wrong, so much apart of the one size fits all. Yes, immunizations can overwhelm a child’s system. I’m not saying I wouldn’t immunize my children if I could do it all again but I would certainly space everything out more and I would not use the combo shots. Hell, my kids had more shots in their first 9 months that I had in my first twelve years. And I’m of course mad that I ignored the whole immunization debate when I was pregnant the first time. I would have known that Hep B is unnecessary for an infant, in this country, unless there are other factors mostly dealing with the mother. I think what I’m pissed most about is that the states require all these shots by the time they are five. Why can’t they be spaced out even more, because you think people won’t get it done, that’s bull. I keep thinking if I had even considered family histories and thought about what was in the genetic soup that made my boys I would have known better than to just follow along. That’s my bad habit of taking the path of least resistance. I’ve started to hear things like the chicken pox vaccine may not work so well and that a booster is needed. I keep thinking why bother, as miserable as it was I’d almost rather my kids actually got chicken pox. Now I wouldn’t want them to get measles or mumps, I know I was glad I never had them but I question the safety of the MMR vaccine and would have preferred individual shots for those. I don’t know if it’s the metals they use in the vaccines or the combinations and quantity that overwhelmed his system and triggered Q. But I think the medical establishment really needs to start listening to parents and stop going off on wild goose chases in terms of research. To actually test vaccines thoroughly before having us inject them into our children. As my husband says in some ways they’re trying to play god and cure everything with out looking at the long term effects, with out knowing how our bodies work and react. I’ve been reading about the whole controversy with Dr Wakefield and the studies he did in the 90’s that first brought the MMR vaccine into question. They accuse him of saying children shouldn’t be vaccinated, when what he said was more studies needed to be made and in the meantime the MMR should not be used, but the individual vaccines for measles, mumps and rubella , that had been around for much longer should be. That there was a possible correlation between it and autism spectrum disorders but a much more extensive study was needed.
I’m mad at how narrow minded some doctors are about some of the alternative therapies. If a change in diet helps eliminate some of the behavioral problems, that then allows the more conventional OT and Speech Therapies work better, why not tell parents about them. I mean if a child is miserable because gas and intestinal problems, how are they to concentrate. If they aren’t getting all the nutrients they need because they’re bodies can’t process certain foods, how can they pay attention. One of the other moms, who has a son the in same program as the Munchkin, was doing her own research. She had started looking into getting a DAN doctor for her son. She’d asked for input from the doctor that had tested her son at Kennedy Krieger. The reply she got was so scathing about any alternative therapies, she started crying and questioning her decisions. All she wants is to help her son, just like I do, but the medical establishment sure doesn’t make it easy. Where as the therapists who have been working with our children were so much more supportive. They have seen the difference in behavior just changing to a GFCF diet can make. How much more receptive to therapies a child can be. And no it doesn’t work for every child, why should it we’re all different. Most of the websites I’ve looked at say try it for 3 months if you see a difference then you’ve eliminated one road block, if it doesn’t work at least you’re looking.
I get mad at myself too thinking about all the toxic things in just my home most especially cleaners, that I didn’t eliminate until Q was almost 8 months old. How I thought that recycling and not using processed food was enough for helping the environment, not really thinking about doing more. In the back of my mind I knew less toxins on this earth was better, healthier for my kids but again following the path of least resistance.
As you can see I’m all over the place. Guess its part of the process, I only wish it hadn’t affected my creativity. It’s not that I don’t have any ideas; it’s that I no longer seem to have the motivation to actually create them. I think that must be part of the process too. I’m sure one day the fountain will open up once more.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
A few things happened in the week following the munchkin's diagnosis that made it easier to come to terms. The first happened at work. A former coworker stopped in and was chatting with all the people he remembered who still worked there. He asked about the boys. I mentioned how I go from being elated that Monkey Boy starts school full time in September to near tears at the same thought. And then I mentioned how we were told the munchkin had autism. Brad started asking some very insightful questions. Then he explained his brother has autism. Growing up together he didn't really pay attention to all that was going on, they're very close in age (year and a half, not sure who is older) So his brother is in his mid to late 20's and has graduated college. And some of the things like the hand posturing when excited are still there but to a much smaller extent. Family and friends don't really think about because to them that is just how he is.
The second came from the service co-ordinator with the school district. She mentioned how she feels Q is on the verge of talking and his cognition is very high. To the point he can match written words to pictures of the same items. She wanted permission to start early reading exercises with him. She also said that the three year old program for children with developmental delay will be good for him. Though she didn't feel the autism program the school distric runs would be a good fit, the children in that program tend to have a lot of behavioral issues in addition to the learning, communication issues. She agreed with me that Q's behavioral problems are entirely age appropriate. She laughed when I mentioned that Q's tantrums aren't nearly as bad as the ones A can throw. (She's met A).
I can usually head off most of his tantrums, the only ones that are hard are the ones caused by Monkey Boy. It doesn't seem to sink in, no matter how many times I explain it, or how many different ways I explain it. The Munchkin plays with things for five maybe ten minutes max. Just let him play he'll put it down and move on to something else. Monkey Boy still rips toys out of his hands. Most the time Munchkin shrugs it off and moves on to something else. Sometimes he protests by pushing MonkeyBoy, then moving on. But certain things will set him into full tantrum. He has a set of Nick Jr books he absolutely loves. He looks through them or brings them to me to read. At the end he closes them and puts them back, you can't inturrupt the routine or you get munchkin on the ground crying, kicking and flailing. It doesn't matter if Monkey Boy was on the otherside of the room playing with something else he will come over and take whatever his brother has in his hands, incuding these books. :sigh:
Oh and the other joy of having boys. Monkey Boy told me the other day as we were coming home from preschool, that he was going to have lots of surprises for me for my birthday. "Girl ones" He sits behind me in the car so with all the car noises I don't always hear everything. I hear this "that was one of your surprises" "What was?" "I burped, it's one of your surprises" "Gee thanks, honey." "Oh that was a boy one."
The second came from the service co-ordinator with the school district. She mentioned how she feels Q is on the verge of talking and his cognition is very high. To the point he can match written words to pictures of the same items. She wanted permission to start early reading exercises with him. She also said that the three year old program for children with developmental delay will be good for him. Though she didn't feel the autism program the school distric runs would be a good fit, the children in that program tend to have a lot of behavioral issues in addition to the learning, communication issues. She agreed with me that Q's behavioral problems are entirely age appropriate. She laughed when I mentioned that Q's tantrums aren't nearly as bad as the ones A can throw. (She's met A).
I can usually head off most of his tantrums, the only ones that are hard are the ones caused by Monkey Boy. It doesn't seem to sink in, no matter how many times I explain it, or how many different ways I explain it. The Munchkin plays with things for five maybe ten minutes max. Just let him play he'll put it down and move on to something else. Monkey Boy still rips toys out of his hands. Most the time Munchkin shrugs it off and moves on to something else. Sometimes he protests by pushing MonkeyBoy, then moving on. But certain things will set him into full tantrum. He has a set of Nick Jr books he absolutely loves. He looks through them or brings them to me to read. At the end he closes them and puts them back, you can't inturrupt the routine or you get munchkin on the ground crying, kicking and flailing. It doesn't matter if Monkey Boy was on the otherside of the room playing with something else he will come over and take whatever his brother has in his hands, incuding these books. :sigh:
Oh and the other joy of having boys. Monkey Boy told me the other day as we were coming home from preschool, that he was going to have lots of surprises for me for my birthday. "Girl ones" He sits behind me in the car so with all the car noises I don't always hear everything. I hear this "that was one of your surprises" "What was?" "I burped, it's one of your surprises" "Gee thanks, honey." "Oh that was a boy one."
Saturday, February 07, 2009
I guess I should give up and just say I'm and occasional poster. It's not that I don't have stories to tell or things to say. It's just at the end ofthe day I'm so burnt out I'd rather just goof off. 4 days a week I'm running until mid afternoon. Sundays I can take it slow but I have to work in the evening. Saturday has been birthday party day whether or not Ken has a wedding to shoot. So Friday is my one day to chill, which I can only kind of do with two kids in the house. Not getting dressed until noon on Friday is one of my small pleasures. I can hop online for 10-15 minute stints during the day but that's not enough time to do anything but read mail and catch up on other people's lives. And when monkey boy is in the house I can't concentrate on much of anything, he knows two volumes loud and screaming. Boy I miss nap times. Then again I cry everytime I think about him starting Kindergarten in the fall.
Anyway what got me to finally post is the munchkin. I took him to Kennedy Kreiger's CARD(Center for Autism and Related Disorders) for follow up testing. Last October we were given a diagnosis of PDD NOS. But the doctor felt he was still a bit young to pin down an exact diagnosis. Friday we were told Autism. I know this seems like a worse diagnosis and even though I was kind of expecting it I was still crying. The doctor was able to put things in perspective for me. She said there is a lot of argument in the field about diagnosis and criteria for the various spectrum disorders. So until things are changed she goes by the criteria listed in the DSM IV. There is specific criteria for both Autism Disorder and Asperger's Syndrome, if a child doesn't fit either one they are given a diagnosis of PDD NOS, kind of a catch all. Within each disorder there is a scale of how severe it is. Any where from severely mental retarded, and needing full time care, to very bright and fully functional. She did say based on the progess he's made, the program we have is a good one. If we find we need more help or different help to let her know and she can help us contact the right people.
This whole thing makes me worry so much for my sweet boy. I know he's bright but I also know he doesn't learn things the way school districts like to box kids into. I'm not worried so much about elementary school, it's when he gets older, middle and high school. Heh I worry about both of them getting to that age. I fear monkey boy won't be challenged enough, in the middle years. I know our high schools have very good advanced and AP classes, it's making sure he gets there.
Well while I was pondering all this I realized what my complaint of lack of creativity the last year really was. My output in 2008 was only slightly down from 2007. What I missed was the easy flow I had from shortly after the munchkin was born until early 2008. It was about this time last year that I started thinking something was wrong. He had his 15 month appointment and was barely walking on his own, only had three words, and had lots of trouble with fine motor skills, didn't turn when his name was called. Our pediatrician suggested hearing testing and if things didn't significantly change he'd suggest additional testing. So basically my head has been in a whole nuther space the last year. I guess knowing for sure is a starting point, and we can figure out where we need to go along the way. But it may be a while before my flow comes back.
Anyway what got me to finally post is the munchkin. I took him to Kennedy Kreiger's CARD(Center for Autism and Related Disorders) for follow up testing. Last October we were given a diagnosis of PDD NOS. But the doctor felt he was still a bit young to pin down an exact diagnosis. Friday we were told Autism. I know this seems like a worse diagnosis and even though I was kind of expecting it I was still crying. The doctor was able to put things in perspective for me. She said there is a lot of argument in the field about diagnosis and criteria for the various spectrum disorders. So until things are changed she goes by the criteria listed in the DSM IV. There is specific criteria for both Autism Disorder and Asperger's Syndrome, if a child doesn't fit either one they are given a diagnosis of PDD NOS, kind of a catch all. Within each disorder there is a scale of how severe it is. Any where from severely mental retarded, and needing full time care, to very bright and fully functional. She did say based on the progess he's made, the program we have is a good one. If we find we need more help or different help to let her know and she can help us contact the right people.
This whole thing makes me worry so much for my sweet boy. I know he's bright but I also know he doesn't learn things the way school districts like to box kids into. I'm not worried so much about elementary school, it's when he gets older, middle and high school. Heh I worry about both of them getting to that age. I fear monkey boy won't be challenged enough, in the middle years. I know our high schools have very good advanced and AP classes, it's making sure he gets there.
Well while I was pondering all this I realized what my complaint of lack of creativity the last year really was. My output in 2008 was only slightly down from 2007. What I missed was the easy flow I had from shortly after the munchkin was born until early 2008. It was about this time last year that I started thinking something was wrong. He had his 15 month appointment and was barely walking on his own, only had three words, and had lots of trouble with fine motor skills, didn't turn when his name was called. Our pediatrician suggested hearing testing and if things didn't significantly change he'd suggest additional testing. So basically my head has been in a whole nuther space the last year. I guess knowing for sure is a starting point, and we can figure out where we need to go along the way. But it may be a while before my flow comes back.
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