catching up once more

May 22, 2008

I keep going back and forth about how much I'm going to worry about Quin's developmental delays. Some days I really worry, did I do something? Or not do something? Should I get him tested for autism? Then I see him playing next to his brother, fighting and laughing with him. Stopping to sit down and look at a book. Giggle as I read to him. Give me a look after I think he's done with lunch that says "hey where's the rest?" Come from another room just to give my knees a hug. When I see these things I think oh he just has his own schedule on what he wants to learn The teacher from infants and toddlers, who started working with us, teaches a music class for children with developmental delays, including those with spectrum disorders. She invited us to join her last two classes for the spring. (there won't be any during the summer). We went to one yesterday. Quin really enjoyed it, let me help him do some of the motions for the songs. He seems to respond very well when there is music. So I have a feeling we'll be using that more to encourage communication skills.

She gave me a few things to work on last week during her home visit. One suggestion since he enjoys eating, was to take a picture of him in his highchair, laminate it. When it is meal time hand him the photo repeating several times "Quinton time to eat" Then take his hand and walk him to his highchair. It didn't take long before as soon as I hand him the photo and say "Quinton time to eat" he'd take the photo walk to his chair and set the picture on the tray then raise his arms to be lifted up. Mostly we were working on this as a way of getting him to respond to his name. We're also supposed to offer him choices, food, toys, what ever, getting him to participate and engage with others.

So all this is going on and we're trying to get the house in order for the weekend. Ken got the main part of the backsplash up. The area behind the microwave can wait. He also patched, primed and painted the walls in the front hall. Mother's day weekend he trimmed all the tree branches. Tomorrow he'll be powerwashing the outside of the house. I've been cleaning, vacuuming and trying to just generally purge stuff from the house. Heh I have a bag of baby clothes and books to send home with my mom this weekend. The clothes she'll give to my aunt, to give to my cousin for his baby boy. The books will go to the library she's a board member of.

Now I just have get together a bag of ripped torn clothes to go for fabric recycling. Our county has an place that accepts electronics and fabrics for recycling in addition to traditional recycling of thing like paper, yard waste, plastic, metal and glass. That's where all Alex's pants with torn out knees will go as soon as I can convince him to wear shorts. Heh I can't even convince him to wear short sleeved shirts yet. He will be the kid wearing socks with sandals this summer.

June 14,2008

Not too much going on here. We went cold turkey with Alex and potty training last weekend of May. Now this is the second time we've tried this. The first time was about a year ago and he would just pee where ever he stood, didn't matter if he was dressed or naked. He just couldn't be bothered to stop what ever he was doing to go potty even though I had him on a timer. It seems to be working this time. We started with every half hour the first week. I also told him if he wet his pants he'd get a new pair of underwear but not new pants/shorts. A second time he'd be stuck in his wet underwear. If he made it to the potty three times after that he could have dry clothes again. With in a couple days he was at least trying every time the timer went off. We stretched the time out and now we're at every hour/hour and a half and a couple times he's actually taken the initiative and gone on his own before the timer went off. Most mornings he's waking with a dry pull up but I'm not going to worry about night time yet. Next step is poop.

I think the reason it's working this time is because he's interested in certain activities like t-ball (next spring) and swimming lessons and I told him they don't let kids who can't use the potty do those things. I think that and the peer pressure at school and in playgroup are finally working in our favor. Al the kids in our play group are potty trained and have been for a year, half of them aren't even 4 yet. And several of the younger set 2-21/2 year olds are starting. He's a smart kid I think he's figuring out this isn't the way to still get babied.

I need to make an appointment for Quin with an opthamologist, just one more thing to eliminate in terms of reasons for the developmental delay. My mom had mentioned while she was visiting, that our family has a tendency to be farsighted. We have noticed that he has a bigger emotional reaction to stuff the farther away he is. Not sure it's a real big difference but it may be just enough that he isn't making the connection between words and objects.

Ken had an interesting conversation with his sister the other night. She'd recently been to a conference on learning styles (she's a trainer for Xerox). There are two main styles experimental and contextual (I think, have to talk to Ken to confirm) We all have both styles to one degre or another. It's just more apparent with people at either end. Basically we figured Alex tends to be a contextual learner. He just absorbs information, by seeing and hearing and practicing he makes connections between things very quickly. Tell him something once or twice and he knows it. Show him how something works like basic addition/subtraction and he understands and starts playing with it on his own.
Experimental learners don't always do well with tests and books, but once they find their niche they are the best at what they do because they know it backwards and forwards. It's starting to look like Quin is more of an experimental learner. He examines everything, picks it up and looks at is from all angles. When he first started playing with cars he'd see how they work by rolling them on the floor, then at waist level then at eye level then on something taller than him. After that he's try different surfaces, smooth, soft, bumpy. I'm starting to think this combined with the second child tendency to do things later because the older one does things for them is some of the reason for his delays.

He's still not really reacting to his own name but he is starting to bring me toys to look at. He's also starting to copy what Alex does as he plays. He wants to play next to Alex or watch him while he plays a lot mre now too. His new favorite song is Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes I have to help him with the motions but after I help him he grabs my hands and does the same motions.

Last night/today has not been a good day. I spend an hour with Quin because he had a tummy ache. I just rubbed his back and belly, he acted a couple times like he was going to throw up. I was even trying to encourage him, just so he wouldn't be in pain but he swallowed it right back down. Finally he burped a couple times and ten minuted later farted. After that he wanted to go back to bed. Then at 5 am Alex wakes up screaming at the top of his lungs that he needs to brush his teeth. Now we brushed his teeth before bed, he didn't want to do it himself so I did it for him (he goes back and forth between brushing his own teeth and having an adult help) I was so pissed but I got everyhting ready for him and let him brush his teeth on his own. Now because he was carrying on so loudly Quin woke again. Quin has a temper, takes a while to set it off but once he's lost it he gets a bit violent. I went in to settle him down and he was fine while I was there until he realized that I wasn't going to pick him up and take him downstairs, then he threw himself down kicking and screaming. I just walked out and closed the door. He screamed for another 5 minutes. I packed Alex back into his room and told him he couldn't get up and go downstairs until 7am.
Since summer started he's been getting up and quietly going downstairs to play and watch tv between 6-6:30. For the last year he had been getting up but playing quietly in his room until 7am then getting me up to go downstairs. Either way it is kind of nice because I don't have to actually get up when he gets up in the morning. So today I've had to cranky whiny children, I'm pretty cranky myself from interupted sleep, not a good combo. Hoping they both take long naps.